“Guns are pacifists when left alone.”
A little buckaroo and his ole grampaps
were sippin’ lemonade on a hot September day.
“Never heard y’of Jimmy ‘Jim’ McGilligan, eh? Well sit right back while I tell that tale, a tale of a fateful slip up.”
Sip. Sip.
“Jimmy was a bad hombre, pistolero, pistoleer, who made his name by killin’ folk, shot them in the ear, or rear, or back, don’t really matter where, he just liked killin’.”
Sip. Sip.
“One day while robbin’ a stagecoach, Jimmy hears some talk of a town of small renown where killiin’ aint a crime and murder aint illegal. Anything goes in the tiny town of Dispatch.”
Sip. Sip.
“Natcherly Jimmy thinks ‘Well Hell! I kin be a big man, I kin be a star! Wonder where this place is at, hope it aint real far'”.
Sip. Sip.
“‘Tell me where is Dispatch er else I might just shoot ya!’ Jimmy Jim threatened a woman wearing white. ‘Bout fifty miles west, in Two Gulps Canyon’ cried the frightened whitened woman who was fearful for her life. BANG! Jimmy shot her dead. Told ya he was bad medicine.”
Sip. Sip.
“So Jimmy and his gang, I think that there was five, set off fully gallopin’ to make their killin’ fortunes in the little town of Dispatch. ‘Bout 3 hours ta git there. Just 3 hours ta git there. Yup.”
Sip. Sip.
“When Jimmy got ta Dispatch he went looking for a bar. And a fight. A big bar fight, yup that’s right. And he found one. Saloon Skullduggery.”
Sip. Sip.
Burstin’ through the barroom door, eyeballs turned there was 84, Jimmy spied the Marshall playin’ poker with his pals. Not just any Marshall, about it make no bones, but sitting at the table was Jedidiah Jones.”
“But that’s YOUR name grampaps!!” the buckaroo shouted.
“Settle down son!” a laughing grampaps gently spouted.
“Jimmy Jim faced the Marshall staring in his eye. ‘Tell me Marshall, is it true that killin’ aint a crime?'”.
“‘Ats right, sir’ Jedidiah did reply. ”
Sip. Sip.
“‘Get ready for the reaper!’ cried Jimmy Jim McGilligan and went to draw his weapon when he heard the shots and felt the stun of 42 bullets spit from everybody’s gun. Crumblin’ to the floor, not six steps from door, Jimmy Jim McGilligan he wasn’t any more. “
Sip. Sip.
“Jedidiah Jones, staring at his cards mumbled ‘reason villains stay away from little Dispatch every day is even while it aint a crime to take a life, you won’t do time, EVERYONE in Dispatch carries and will shoot and don’t take fondly, to the foolish, the noisy, the boastful and the killin’ kind.”
Sip. Sip.
“So what ever happened to Dispatch?” blurted buckaroo.
“Ohhh!” grampaps frowned, wiping lemon from his chin.
“The got blowed up on 911.”
BANG!
